Thursday, November 10, 2005
I'm Not Important
Suddenly feel inspired after reading 2 blogs.
I'm getting old, grumpy and jaded. Why? Is life so miserable? Am I not satisfied despite having enough to eat and a roof over my head? I keep getting morbid dreams recently.
People who don't know me, they judge me. People seldom do things "because I say so". They don't hear me. Then they tell me that I didn't say. Well, if someone wants to hear, I wouldn't need to repeat myself time and again. Things always happen without me knowing. I'm just expected to follow, perhaps preferably without question. I get different treatment when I sprain my ankle compared to when the same thing happens to someone else. If anything were to happen, I'd probably be the last to know, if I ever knew. I think I must be the last on anyone's list of preferential treatment. When we need to accomodate, its usually to accomodate someone else.
Shouting to get noticed is not me. I feel like I'm just part of the wall or the trees in the park. Maybe, even transparent. Everyday, as I watch people pass by, they do not notice me. I go shopping, the salesger will ignore mem thinking I probably can't pay. The salesboy questions my eligibility to own a credit card.
Well, I still think, I'm not important, there are too many examples to quote. Forget it. I'll just accept it, live and let live.
Still, there are still the occassional good times. I know I should be thankful for them. I'll remember them. As we grow older, we truely see wherein lies our good friends. At the end of the day, I guess, if I'm not important to everyone else, I should learn to make myself feel important, to no one else but myself, to entertain myself and make myself happy!
Posted by LiTTle-FooT at 1:21 AM with 1